By Katherine Parsons, Strategy Director
Dear Mr Luxbegone,
I am Connie the Consumer… your business depends on me. Let me be blunt: I have fallen out of love with you.
I do confess there was a time when I was passionately infatuated with you… mildly obsessed would not be an exaggeration. I wanted to be surrounded by you all the time. I always wanted to show you off and have you by my side, a status symbol for all to see. To show everyone- “look who I’ve got, I must be someone special indeed”.
But hear me now, this has all changed.
Quite honestly, I am skeptical that things will ever be the same. Times have changed and I believe we have drifted ways. If you were to ever spark my interest again, let me make the following suggestions:
1. Give me something to talk about. I want something special, unique, truly different than that offered by the other suitors vying for my attention. To really turn my head, give me an experience so memorable I will sing about it from my balcony and want to share the details with all my friends.
2. Follow through. Everything doesn’t end once the “transaction” is completed. That’s when you have to start to really win me over and make me loyal and devoted for a lifetime of love. Treat me like the princess I am all along the way. Hint: the wooing period is never over.
3. Tell me the truth. Perhaps when I ask you if my butt looks big, I don’t always need to hear the brutal honesty, but no other exceptions. I want your sincere honesty and transparency now and always. And by the way, I have the internet. If you don’t tell me what you are really up to or where you are coming from, Facebook or Google will.
4. I am ME. Please, please stop with the generalizations. I don’t want to hear you tell your friends you understand me because I am another “New york girl” or “all blondes are like that”… I am uniquely me. My identity is multifaceted and I need to know you recognize and appreciate me for who I am. I never want to be just another “girl” to you.
5. Humility. I am with you, I think you are great. Therefore, use a little discretion and taste. You don’t need to flaunt your college sweatshirt, flex your muscles and tell everyone how you are the funniest man alive. Your actions speak louder than your words. Behave accordingly. Such boasting can be offensive and unappealing. The truly classy need not self identify.
If you can’t at least make these changes, I will quickly move on and you, Mr Luxbegone, will be a distant memory.
Regretfully yours,
Connie the Consumer
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